As a trainee teacher I am pretty much constantly scrutinised. Most of the lessons I teach are observed, commented on and critiqued by the class teacher or my mentor (often the same person) and today I was observed by the ITE (trainee teachers) coordinator in my placement school. Tomorrow is the big one, a visit from a representative from the university to observe my teaching. No one has found these visits particularly onerous so far, but the pressure is still on and I’ll struggle to sleep tonight.
I just can’t wait until it’s over and I can relax.
Well, it’s Monday morning, and I’m not at school, or at Uni. This is holiday is very much needed. The PGCE is not big on holidays you see. While teachers got half term we had lectures and an assigment to do. It’s Christmas, but there’s another assignment due in after the holidays, so I don’t get a proper, proper break. But I’ll take what I can get.
I’ve enjoyed myself immensely on my placement, and I’m looking forward to some more.
After all, I need to make the most of it before I move on to my second placement, which is guaranteed to be a much much rougher school. Then again, my second placement will probably be more representative of my career options in the future.
Once again my PGCE has taken over my life and left me with no time to write, but since it’s Christmas, and all my lessons are planned up until Christmas (well, tomorrow) and it’s mostly videos until the end of the week and we finish early on Friday, I’ve finally got a little bit of time to breathe!
This week I finally had the lesson I’ve been dreading, the one where the boys were persistently, annoyingly and disgustingly rude and reduced me to tears (though, fortunately, I managed to hold it back until I got back to the staff room). I knew it would happen eventually, it’s inevitable. In this case I was knackered and ready for a break, they were behaving abominably, I shouted at them, nagged them and they just talked over me, spoke disrespectfully to me and teased me with factoids they’d gleaned from finding me on Facebook. They seemed to think it would bother me to hear that they knew the name of my fiancé, and though it shouldn’t bother me, it does because of what it represents, nosing into my private life looking for ammunition. They won’t find anything juicy, but their intentions are fairly malicious, and this is fairly intelligent misbehaviour. When I go back in January I’m going to really go for the ringleaders and see if I can’t sort out their behaviour down to a level where we can get some work done! I know that I’m otherwise fairly spoiled by my lovely classes, and that I’m more likely to have classes like this nightmare one, so I need this experience.
Otherwise it’s going quite well. My mentor generally has really positive comments for me and is still able to (tactfully) give me ways in which I could improve my practice. I think this is the ideal thing for me at the moment.
Still – bring on the holidays!
Well, ok, not really. But I did teach my very first whole lesson today – from beginning to end, entering the room until being dismissed, they were my class. I enjoyed it very much. I think they did too, and more importantly, I’m pretty sure they learned something. We played with flashcards. I love flashcards. Perhaps that’s a sign I’m in the right job. 
Just being cautious though, you must remember that this is a particularly nice year 7 group, and I also saw the year nines today (though I didn’t have to attempt to teach them anything at least) and they gave me the biggest headache. They call me stupid names, they won’t shut up and seem to have no concept of what’s appropriate. They aren’t the hardened hooligans you see in other schools, they are smart, energetic boys in need of an attitude adjustment.
I can’t help but feel critical of the teacher, who is very relaxed with them. I don’t want to, because I’m not the experienced one. I worry that my adopting a more authoritarian style will be seen as an insult to this teacher. I think that the thing is that the teacher’s style works well for her, but it blatantly won’t work for me. I can’t have casual lessons, I think they need boundaries, and when it’s my turn I’ll just have to do the best I can to deal with them. The problem is that I take them over very soon (next week even) and I haven’t thought of a solution yet. Bill Rogers calls it the establishment phase – the time in which you make sure the class knows what you will and what you won’t stand for. I’ll just have to try it and see.
And at least I’m seeing the year sevens again tomorrow.
As has been pointed out to me a few times I haven’t updated very much recently. I have been astonishingly busy however (everyone who’s experience the dreaded PGCE will understand) and that will have to be my excuse. I’ve also started up another blog on behalf of my course mates, so that has been occupying a lot of my time.
I’m actually having a lovely time though. Teaching is really appealing to me, the high of teaching them something successfully is just unbeatable, and I’m quickly developing thick skin when dealing with the nightmare pupils, I have to keep reminding myself that it’s nothing personal and that it’s a good thing that they’ve already given me a nickname! It doesn’t stop me from repeating frequently that I could cheerfully throttle each and every one of the little brats though!
Next week I go in full time, as opposed to only 2 days a week, so this will be when I learn to manage my time properly. The frequency of posts on this blog should a fairly accurate guide to how well I’m doing that.
On a slightly more cheerful note, Chapati has recently added me to a very interesting looking blogging project. The current theme is teachers, so I’ll be keeping an eye on it, as I’m always interested in adding to my teacher blogroll.
Well, I should be working on my primary school report, but I’m not. I’m writing this post. I’m aware, and sorry, that I’ve been neglecting my blog, and my readers (if I still have any after such unforgivably interrupted posting) but I do have an excuse – limited internet connection. I don’t have any internet at home and for some reason my laptop refuses to connect to my university wireless – even the computer geeks in IT services couldn’t fix it. Anyway, no excuse. I promise to be better (yes, I know, you’ve heard that before).
Well, university has well and truly begun. I’m getting back in the swing of lectures and seminars as if I’ve never been away. I’m reading this, and this, chapters from this and this and getting myself familiar with this. In preparation for my first assignment I need to think about reading this and this and in order to improve my language competence I’ll be making a start on this and this. There’s no way you can say that I’m not working hard!
I’ve also been assigned my first teaching placement, and I was intrigued to see that I’ve been placed in an all boys grammar school. A grammar school is excellent news for me, as a new teacher it’ll be nice to be eased in with relatively able students and I’ll get a chance to teach post sixteen. These boys aren’t allowed to do the A level in Modern Foreign Languages unless they have a B at GCSE, so this should make for lovely classes. However, boys and languages…. It should be interesting.
